Your home is running an experiment. You are the test subject.
Average Cadaver analyzes your home's air, water, and materials — and gives you one ranked list: what to ignore, what to monitor, and what to fix first. Free 3-minute scan. No equipment needed.
Get the truth before the autopsy.
Free · No equipment · Report emailed within minutes
Reality Check
What’s already in your home — and your body.
These aren’t hypothetical risks. These are CDC-documented chemical loads carried by the average American homeowner right now.
97%
PFAS — Forever Chemicals
97% of Americans carry PFAS in their blood. Forever chemicals. Forever.
Source — CDC NHANES Biomonitoring
99%
Pesticides — Detected in Urine
99% of Americans have pesticides detectable in their urine. Organic label not included.
Source — CDC Fourth National Report on Human Exposure
700+
Synthetic Chemicals In Your Body Now
The average American carries 700+ synthetic chemicals in their body at any given moment. None of them were on the lease.
Source — EWG / CDC Body Burden Research
2–5×
Indoor vs. Outdoor Air
Indoor air is 2–5× more contaminated than outdoor air. Your home is the exposure.
Source — EPA Indoor Air Study
Be below average.
The Process
How It Works
We start with a comprehensive baseline assessment of your home's air, water, building materials, moisture, and daily habits — then layer in continuous monitoring so nothing gets missed between snapshots. When exposures cross a threshold, you get a prioritized action plan tied to specific findings. After you act, we retest to confirm the reduction and update your score.
01
Assess
Complete the free scan to establish your chemical baseline. We identify compounds present across your home and calculate your initial EBI™ score.
02
Monitor
Your environment shifts as seasons, materials, and habits change. Monitoring is continuous — running between every step and flagging new signals automatically.
↻ Always On
03
Act
When your score enters the Act zone, you receive a prioritized remediation list. Target the highest-impact drivers first for the fastest reduction in burden.
04
Retest
After remediation, retest to confirm your exposure has dropped. Your new score becomes the updated baseline — and the cycle continues.
Ignore 1–33
Monitor 34–66
Act Now 67–100
Your Results
Exposure Burden Index™
Like a credit score for your home's health — one number that tells you whether you have a problem, exactly what's driving it, and what to do about it.
EBI Composite
54
avg of 5 categories
(64+88+28+62+26) ÷ 5
Overall Zone
Monitor
Overall exposure is moderate. Address the Act-level category to pull your composite score down.
Highest Risk
Water
88
Act Now
PFAS · 4× EPA limit
Top Driver
PFAS
Municipal water supply
18 ppt · 4× EPA limit
CategoryScore
Ignore · 1–33
Monitor · 34–66
Act Now · 67–100
Status
Air Quality
VOCs · PM2.5 · CO₂ · Formaldehyde
CO₂2,400 ppm · 2.4× limit
64
/ 100
13366100
Monitor
Water
Contaminants · Treatment byproducts
PFAS18 ppt · 4× EPA limit
88
/ 100
13366100
Act
Materials
Flooring · Finishes · Furniture off-gassing
28
/ 100
13366100
Ignore
Moisture
Relative humidity · Condensation risk
62
/ 100
13366100
Monitor
Habits
Cleaning products · Personal care · Ventilation
26
/ 100
13366100
Ignore
EBI Composite Score
Average of all categories
54
/ 100
13366100
MONITOR
Results
Specific results. Real households.
“We found our CO2 levels were 172% of the recommended levels. We installed monitors and made some simple changes. Problem solved!”
Robert M.
Homeowner
Alexandria, VA · Built 1952
EBI™ 74 → 31 after mitigation
“Our water was found to be high in PFAS which our filter didn’t remove. Air quality was poor, but easily remedied.”
Leigh
Parent
Arlington, VA · Built 1964
Water vector resolved in 2 weeks
“VOCs from cleaning products and our stove were extremely high. The Exposure Autopsy found it in 20 minutes.”
David R.
New Construction Buyer
Fairfax, VA · Built 2018
Full remediation completed, EBI™ now 28
The Clarity Ladder
Start free. Escalate only if you need to.
Every tier delivers a ranked, prioritized output — what to fix, what to watch, and what to ignore. Start with the free scan. Escalate if your score demands it.
01
Exposure Probability Scan →
Survey-only. ZIP code + building + behavioral data modeled into risk signals. Is there a problem?
Free
02
Remote Exposure Autopsy →
Comprehensive intake + expert analysis + prioritized testing plan. What is the problem?
$99–$299
03
Full Exposure Autopsy™ →
In-person forensic assessment with physical sampling, remediation blueprint, and post-intervention validation. How do I fix it?
$499+
Common Questions
Answers before you start
The free Exposure Probability Scan uses a weighted algorithm modeled against CDC biomonitoring data and EPA regional contamination profiles. It gives you a statistically-grounded estimate — not a guess. Think of it like a credit score for your home’s exposure risk: highly informative, even without pulling your full financial records. Physical testing (Tier 3) provides certified confirmation.
Your EBI (Exposure Burden Index) is a 0–100 number representing your home’s cumulative chemical exposure burden. 0–30 = Ignore (low-risk baseline). 31–60 = Monitor (elevated — worth tracking). 61–100 = Act (significant exposure requiring intervention). The score tells you where to focus, not just that a problem exists.
The free scan estimates exposure across key risk categories: PFAS (forever chemicals), VOCs, particulate matter, heavy metals, mold, pesticides, and endocrine disruptors. The Full Exposure Autopsy™ includes physical sampling for 49+ specific analytes in water and multi-point air quality monitoring.
No. Average Cadaver provides environmental exposure intelligence — we identify and quantify chemical burden in your home environment. We do not diagnose health conditions or prescribe medical treatments. If you have specific health concerns, please consult a licensed physician.
A traditional home inspection checks for structural and mechanical defects. Average Cadaver is a chemical exposure analysis — we identify invisible threats that pass every standard inspection. Most homes with elevated EBI scores would pass a standard home inspection with flying colors. That’s exactly the problem we solve.
We do not take percentage-of-job incentives from contractors and we do not mark up labor. Our referrals are neutral — we provide the protocol and testing criteria, and you choose who does the work.
EBI Intake Assessment
Tell us about your home
Choose an assessment level below. Your EBI score is reported on a 0–100 scale — like a credit score for cumulative exposure. Higher is worse.
Question 1 of 1010%
Your answers are used only to calculate your EBI score.
Method
Detailed intake + expert review
Time
~15–20 minutes
Output
Calibrated EBI + gap analysis
Cost
$99 – $299
This will provide you with a detailed Exposure Burden Index Score. The report will also provide detailed next steps, both DIY and additional monitoring/remediation services.
This assessment generates a calibrated EBI estimate. A Full Exposure Autopsy™ requires physical sampling. See Services for options.
Method
On-site / in-person assessment
Time
1–4 hours on-site + 30-day monitoring
Output
Certified EBI + remediation blueprint
Cost
$499+
A certified specialist visits your home for physical air, water, and material sampling. You receive a certified EBI score with room-by-room zone analysis and a ranked remediation blueprint.
✓ Certified EBI score (0–100)
✓ Room-by-room prioritization
✓ Physical air & water sampling
✓ Remediation roadmap
01Schedule Your Visit
02Pre-Visit Survey
An exposure specialist will contact you within 1 business day to confirm your appointment. No sampling is performed without your explicit approval.
Your Current Tier
Exposure Probability Scan
Modeled EBI Score
—
Answer questions to generate · Scale 0–100
EBI Scale Guide
0–30Ignore
31–60Monitor
61–100Act
What Happens Next
1
Modeled EBI generated from your intake data
2
Exposure specialist reviews and annotates results
3
You receive an Ignore / Monitor / Act report
4
Option to escalate to physical sampling or autopsy
Recommended Next Step
Services
Choose what's right for your home.
Every service delivers a clear, prioritized output — what to fix, what to watch, and what to ignore. Select a service below to get started.
✓
Self-Serve · Instant
Exposure Probability Scan
Free
10 weighted questions about your home. Instant EBI score with Ignore / Monitor / Act recommendation.
✓ EBI score (0–100 scale)
✓ Triage recommendation
✓ Report emailed to you
✓
Remote · Expert Review
Remote Exposure Autopsy
$99
Expert specialist reviews your data, calibrates your EBI against regional contamination records, and delivers a prioritized action plan.
✓ Expert-reviewed EBI score
✓ Regional contamination overlay
✓ Prioritized testing protocol
✓
On-Site · Forensic
Full Exposure Autopsy™
$499
Certified specialist visits your home for physical air, water, and material sampling. Room-by-room analysis with ranked remediation blueprint.
✓ Certified EBI + zone analysis
✓ Physical air & water sampling
✓ Remediation roadmap
In Person currently available in DC Metro area only with expansion nationwide in 2026.
Selected Service
Select a service above
Total
$0
What Your Report Looks Like
EBI Assessment — 847 Elm Street
This is a representative sample report based on a 4-bedroom, 2-bath, pre-1990 home in Northern Virginia. Data collected via Temtop M2000 air quality monitor, thermal camera, and moisture meter — room by room.
Property
847 Elm Street, Alexandria VA
Date
Feb 26, 2026
Device
Temtop M2000
Report ID
EBI-2026-0847
Assessment Summary
Composite EBI of 58/100 — Moderate Burden. 2 critical exceedances require immediate intervention. Formaldehyde in the master bedroom measured at 0.124 mg/m³ (4× WHO guideline). PM2.5 in the kitchen reached 42.7 µg/m³ (3.6× EPA annual standard). TVOC elevated in basement at 1.8 mg/m³. Thermal anomaly detected in master bedroom exterior wall. Priority action: source-control formaldehyde and improve kitchen ventilation.
HCHO reading of 0.124 mg/m³ is 4× the WHO guideline (0.03 mg/m³). Identify emission source — likely laminate flooring, pressed-wood furniture, or adhesives. Increase ventilation immediately. Confirm material emission class; seal or replace non-compliant materials. Estimated cost: $200–$4,000 depending on approach.
02
Improve kitchen ventilation — PM2.5 & CO₂
PM2.5 at 42.7 µg/m³ and CO₂ at 1,240 ppm indicate inadequate exhaust during cooking. Install or upgrade range hood to vent externally (minimum 200 CFM). Open windows during cooking as interim measure. Estimated cost: $150–$800.
03
Investigate basement TVOC source & moisture
TVOC at 1.80 mg/m³ is 3.6× the WHO guideline. Moisture at 28% and RH at 62% suggest active moisture intrusion. Check for stored solvents, paint, or adhesives. Inspect foundation for water entry points. Consider dehumidifier (target <50% RH). Estimated cost: $200–$1,200.
04
Thermal anomaly — master bedroom exterior wall
Severity 6/10 cold spot on exterior wall indicates possible insulation gap or air infiltration. Inspect for missing insulation, failed caulking, or window seal failure. Address before winter heating season to prevent condensation and mold risk. Estimated cost: $100–$600.
Verification Protocol
Data is only useful if it changes the outcome. After interventions are implemented, retest to confirm your EBI score has improved.
30
Days — Quick Retest
Air quality & HVAC changes
60
Days — Full Retest
Materials, moisture, thermal
90
Days — EBI Verification
Full composite score rerun
EBI Score
58
Moderate Burden · Scale 0–100
Top Drivers
Formaldehyde (HCHO)
0.124 mg/m³ · Master Bedroom
PM2.5
42.7 µg/m³ · Kitchen
TVOC
1.80 mg/m³ · Basement
CO₂
1,240 ppm · Kitchen
Moisture
28% · Basement (Concrete)
Room Scores
Master Bedroom74
Kitchen68
Basement52
Kid's Bedroom38
Living Room14
Get in Touch
LET'S TALK ABOUT your home.
Contact Form
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✓
Inquiry Received
Thanks — we'll review your information and respond within 1 business day.
Quick Start
Want to skip the form? Jump straight into one of our assessments:
Free · No equipment · Report emailed within minutes
Not medical advice. For informational and environmental monitoring purposes only. Consult a licensed physician for health-related decisions.
Average Cadaver · Exposure Probability Scan
—
—
Question Breakdown
Recommended Next Steps
Want a deeper analysis?
An expert reviews your data and calibrates your score against regional contamination data for your ZIP code.
No pressure. Your free report is already in your inbox.
Get in Touch
Have a question, need help choosing a service, or want to talk through your situation? We respond within 1 business day.
Your information is never sold or shared. See our privacy policy.
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Message Received
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What's hiding in your home?
Free 3-minute scan · No equipment needed
BEFORE YOU GO
Your home is talking. Are you listening?
Get your free Exposure Probability Score emailed to you. Takes 3 minutes. No equipment needed.
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STEP 1 OF 4
What brought you here today?
This helps us calibrate your scan to the exposures most relevant to your situation.
Water concerns
PFAS, lead, well water quality, or municipal water issues
Air quality
Mold, radon, dust, VOCs, or ventilation problems
Building materials
Asbestos, lead paint, formaldehyde, or renovation off-gassing
Overall exposure burden
General concern about cumulative chemical exposure in my home
New home / moving
Pre-purchase inspection or baseline assessment for a new property
Your answers are private and never shared.
YOUR RESULTS
Your Exposure Probability Score
0
EBI
Based on your self-reported answers · Not a medical diagnosis
YOUR RISK BREAKDOWN
Here's what we found
Your scan identified potential exposure risks across these categories:
Want to know for sure?
An expert reviews your data, cross-references regional contamination records for your ZIP code, and delivers a calibrated report with ranked interventions.
One-time fee · Report delivered in 48 hours
✓
REPORT SENT
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